Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
