Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
