Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
