it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
