how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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