i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am one with the molecules
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
