JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
