I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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