i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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