I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
