Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
