dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
