When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
