you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
