Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
