I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
