My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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