normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
