adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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