I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
