How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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