I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
