i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
