whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
