Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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