You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
