did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
my poor anus
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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