Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
