he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
