she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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