what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
