I'm eating all of the evidence.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's get the cat blown out
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
