the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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