he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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