i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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