She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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