I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
