yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
