Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
