My cat gives me a boner
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
