I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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