didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
