Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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