that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
