I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
