i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
