you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
