Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
