Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
