you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
