Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm passing your future prison.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
