Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
