He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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