How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
