summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
