ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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