I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
