Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
