can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize