they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
