you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
