Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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