For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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