What a fucking waste of an outfit
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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